comparison of tears

raindrops are like teardrops
they fall when needed to
its like the heavens know
what i am going through

To love someone who does not love you ,
is like shaking a tree and making the dew drops fall

although these two short versus are contradictory of each other ... yet the both make sense to me. one signifies the huge downfall of rain to emphasize it further. but the small tears that fall off a tree after a rainfall cannot be compared to the amount of rain that fell before.
i mean can it happen ... having burried my feelings long ago for this guy , chucked it to the back of my mind and left it there undisturbed to be more exact . he doesnt know that he is reviving it and causing me even more pain.... the circumstances now are just not the right timing. recent breakups ... moving to another country for further studies. moving on from where we are is so awkward i dont know where to start from on how awkward it is. no matter how hard it is for me to forget about how i felt about you ... it still remains.. it never goes away. its a constant pleasant headache. yet my heart aches . its like it was being pierced and will never be healed completely anymore. why did you come into my life to make me this way ? i wish i could just forget you completely. wish you out of my life. let me move on to new things and new people but i cant seem to because of you . you have always been there for me for my hardships and joy . we share a lot of great moments together yet you do not know what i feel . theres no one to tell since there is a lot of difference between us . family background & beliefs.

so far nothing in the department of love has gone right for me ... i dont think my heart is capable of taking another rejection. i know we arent suppose to expect it to come and always keep our hopes high waitting for that special moment. but no matter how many times i go through it my heart just wont learnt this horrible lesson . it wants to go through all these hardfeelings in the book of love.