backsliding

hey folks am back with another entry ,

well i feel bad in some ways that i turned down a good opportunity of a date . sigh i shouldnt have ! i wasted my bloody afternoon not doing anything when i could have spent it with someone .

oh well ... but then again going to SIB did calm me down a whole lot . i did have fun there ! Thank goodness .... the topic was premarital sex ... lol so funny ! the speaker was very frank and open about it which was great. i learnt more about it . but the main highlight of the evening was that i got to meet some of my old friends from SIB . it really reminds me on how much i miss that church . met people like Khye Shin , Philip again once more. lol when i said i wanted to meet some of the old guys that i met two years ago in SIB , Philip had to say " only want to meet guys lar "... which made me laugh. i told him quickly i wanted to meet boy girls and guys . haha ... wtv ..

the fact of my blog entry today was to express , how i comprimise for my parents in order to respect them but cant express my way of worship in like a church like SIB. i felt so homely there.... it felt as if i was back in Hope Brisbane . i think i would grow more in God if i were in that kind of setting more than being in a church like PJEFC. I see that Juni is also really enjoying herself there. i feel so dead in my christian life ... it almost none existent . God please help me , I feel that i have backslided so much that i am not worthy .

I need your strength to help me to pull through all this confusing feelings and from me thinking too much about life in general . i dont think my frail body can take it anymore .... strenghthen me and let me grow more .


Draw me close to you by Hillsongs
Draw me Close to you
never let me go
i lay it all down again
to hear you say that i'm your friend

you are my desire
no one else will do
cause no one else could take your place
to feel the warmth of your embrace
help me find the way
bring me back to you ....

you're all i want
you're all i ever needed
you're all i want
help me know you are near