an outburst ?

hmmm well just a bit on update on emotions side .

dont know how and why when i woke up in the morning yesterday that i was being shoot down by my sister so much ! its like she wanted to go against my every word.... stupid and we started arguing in the car . even lead to us arguing at home .... sigh ... then dad had to scold me for trying to ask whether i could participate in the 40 days fast thing for NECF ... haihz ... when i just could not take it anymore i rushed into the church hall and quickly sat down and began to pray with the congregation...

inside my sis still had to fight and get her way about moving seats ... in a way my mood was way over for me to take and so i blew ... tears just couldnt stop flowing down .... it was a mixture of feelings of the happenings that morning as well as thinking about how much i havent been doing for God lately.

as you can tell my mind is troubled and i have been thinking a lot lately ... which definitely is not good for a thinker like me cause ill think of all goods and bads about every topic... i have to learn to think less about unnecessary things ....


xoxo

Dark Knight

went to watch dark knight yesterday !

WAS COOL !

i liked the movie . i love the Joker's role ....he was so into character ! My theory is that Heath Ledger wanted this to be his best role and not be judged any further ! it was a brilliant last curtain call. it was just brilliant! i really applaude his efforts ... it really must have drained him !

although some parts i must say that i will critic harshly. the scenes went a bit too fast . it could have gone slower to make it more effective... to bring out more emotions ....

christian bale .... looked slightly fat in the movie ... oh well .... guess he didnt work out hard enough ...

alfred's accent was so nice to listen to !

rachel - actress a bit stiff , could have been more relaxed .... and into character

harvey dent - the switches of scenes for him was too quick . the emotion of losing a love one could have been brought out better .

but even with these critics ... i still liked the movie ....

why so serious ? ....

xoxo

backsliding

hey folks am back with another entry ,

well i feel bad in some ways that i turned down a good opportunity of a date . sigh i shouldnt have ! i wasted my bloody afternoon not doing anything when i could have spent it with someone .

oh well ... but then again going to SIB did calm me down a whole lot . i did have fun there ! Thank goodness .... the topic was premarital sex ... lol so funny ! the speaker was very frank and open about it which was great. i learnt more about it . but the main highlight of the evening was that i got to meet some of my old friends from SIB . it really reminds me on how much i miss that church . met people like Khye Shin , Philip again once more. lol when i said i wanted to meet some of the old guys that i met two years ago in SIB , Philip had to say " only want to meet guys lar "... which made me laugh. i told him quickly i wanted to meet boy girls and guys . haha ... wtv ..

the fact of my blog entry today was to express , how i comprimise for my parents in order to respect them but cant express my way of worship in like a church like SIB. i felt so homely there.... it felt as if i was back in Hope Brisbane . i think i would grow more in God if i were in that kind of setting more than being in a church like PJEFC. I see that Juni is also really enjoying herself there. i feel so dead in my christian life ... it almost none existent . God please help me , I feel that i have backslided so much that i am not worthy .

I need your strength to help me to pull through all this confusing feelings and from me thinking too much about life in general . i dont think my frail body can take it anymore .... strenghthen me and let me grow more .


Draw me close to you by Hillsongs
Draw me Close to you
never let me go
i lay it all down again
to hear you say that i'm your friend

you are my desire
no one else will do
cause no one else could take your place
to feel the warmth of your embrace
help me find the way
bring me back to you ....

you're all i want
you're all i ever needed
you're all i want
help me know you are near

drifting

title sums it up ... i am practically drifting everyday... in the sense of being "there"but yet not there. some of my closest friends detected that i wasnt myself lately and they questioned me about it.

i guess its got to do with feeling the pressures of stress. in accordance for the exams which are around the corner, and in order to not take up so much energy i just put myself into drift mode when i am intereacting with people. man .... i am turning to be more boring than i should be....this is bad .

part and parcel of being a teen - young adult is going through peer pressures .... i think i am feeling that now in some way or another . dont get me wrong i dont miss the feeling of being tied down and emotionally i need the guy to support me . i think well its just kinda sucks being alone and listening to my girlfriends talk about theirs.( no offence to anyone , just voicing out my feelings and dont get me wrong ... pity is not what i need )

got my assignment marks back, pretty happy with criminal contract and lms but not consti. o expected more for that actually . nothing much i can do anyway ... they are pretty decent marks.... not like i really did badly or anything ....

More quotes from shakespeare that i adore !!

Juliet: I'll look to like, if looking liking move:
But no more deep will
I endart mine eye
Than your consent gives strength to make it fly.

Mercutio:You are a lover; borrow Cupid's wings, And soar with them above a common bound.

xoxo

a nightmare

hmmmm i dreamt that i was in some sort of western place . that i was driving and i knocked and dented my car in some sort of car park . there this invidulator who came with her board and was like testing me . and i had to be punish. worst of all a friend of mine was in the crowd watching. i had to be cane .

then next scene i saw i was hugging all my teachers from IES ( foundation in aussie )

it was just a very weird dream.... i really dont know what to make out of it

a recent quote from Romeo & Juliet play ... " young man's love lies, not in their hearts , but in their eyes."

been thinking a lot about life in general lately . kinda makes you more depress about it though



oh well ...

ramblings

well ... i spent the whole day at home until around 5 ish . studying mostly !

mom called me and dad to go to Lake Garden for the flower festival. the flowers were less this year ....sadly.... No Tulips !!!!! like how they had them last year.... ill post the pics when i upload them ... lazy to now . the lanscapes were nice though and they had a vegetable and fruit garden donated by the prime minister's wife.

pretty hillarious to watch my mum and dad squabbling a bit here and there. they were acting like kids ... hehe and sulking .

later after we went into lake club to have dinner... mum's say again to have japanese .....so we just agreed since i was freaking hungry. dad finished his unagi set in like 10 minutes, really clean..... lol .... the green tea ice cream was really nice, not too sweet and it wasnt watery.


my mind is currently obsessed with Romeo and Juliet after its spark from sis's play . reading the actual play now. engulfing myself into the brilliance of shakespeare's language.

tragedic love ......
til next entry

xoxo

Brillianto

i had a brilliant day !!!

i went out with yuyi to bangsar to go shopping !!!

We went Zara Crazy!!! cause that was the only store there that was worth going to.i bought a blue tank top from there for RM 19.90. I wanted her to try Miss Read Delicious !!! we had Duck Confetti Spaghetti and we had the chocolate brownie with the chocolate sauce and vanila ice cream. mmmmmm ..... my favourite . we had those for lunch

Thanks yuyi ! i really had loads of fun shopping with you !

the most excitting thing was my sis's school production . it was sheer brilliance . they did Romeo & Juliet . They had input chorus speaking, choir , dances, jester poems which really made the whole production a good thing. i was amazed at the chroegraphy. the dances were good. the play iteself was good, especially some characters. like the nurse for example she really did play her role well . there was a part where juliet's dad said that she died . he said it in a manner so robotic that everyone found it to be hilarious and the whole audience started laughing. Romeo was a good actor although his voice was slightly girlish. juliet could have done better she was rushing through her lines. the decorations were so real and nice. the projections of scenes on the OHP was nice too , they found some good pictures off the internet of verona. Sis was in the choir and they sang really well :) am so proud of her. the songs they chose for the emotional moments in the play fitted exactly to the desired feeling. the acoustivs were bad though ... terrible in fact. but the storyline and the flow of the entire thing was just wonderful.

i really want to see it again , told sis to get the DVD of it. she was confused on what so great about it haha haha ....

i basically just loved every minute of it.

thats it


xoxo

another dream

hmmmm weirdly enough i am remembering all my dreams.


i dreamt i have had an english boyfriend who was quite geeky looking but somehow we were very close.

then all of a sudden he breaks up with me in the nicest way possible. and we still remain good friends


weird right

hormonal man ...


xoxo

picture post for 11/7

i had my first ever try of Carls Jr ... it was so delicious and humongous portioned!!!!

SEE !!!! isnt it big ? i have to even share it with Yuyi .

i love the star logo its so cute :)

thanks girls for a great outing i really did enjoy myself eventhough we didnt really do anything ... but just talk

weirder dream

hey guys am back with another entry .... with a dream which i found to be weirder .

i dreamt i was in some closed car park . i was holding my keys , i am guessing that i was gonna go to my car and then i see Mickey mouse couple ( from our class in a distance )

all of a sudden this indian man , wearing the petronas station work shirt comes up to me and keeps demanding for sex , and wants to go out with me . i was freak so i started to run even in my heels. and kept calling the Heng Yin ( the guy of the couple ) but they did not respond so i was desperate and ran outside the car park . i see a group of white skater dudes huddling around and yelled out to them . whereby one of them stood up and said stop Harrassing my Girlfriend .... and then stood in front of me to try to protect me.

i woke up feeling rather weird mind you .... i havent even seen the white guy who protected me before ......

oh well


i seemed to be writting a lot about my dreams lately .......

a walk down memory lane?

hmmmm weirdly enough it was my subconcious mind who did it for me.

i had a very long dream

first was that i was in my old primary school with Siu Theng ( my best friend from primary school ) & Seong Seong ( another good friend ) . we were just going class by class looking at all the teachers teaching and talking about them , somehow or rather we were wearing school uniforms. some of the teachers present werent even from primary school and from my secondary school which yeah its out of place. went to the canteen and bought food and whilst walking back i voiced concerned that we were going to be late for class?? huh?? Ss then reassured me that miss Chen wouldnt mind ( she was my primary six form teacher ).

somehow or rather the next scene was at my house and it was in my room, whereby there was so many girls staying at my house that night. my cousins from my mum side were here. we had some chili for dinner or something then later in the night most of the adults who ate suddenly went into seizures for some reason. we all panic of course . one of my uncles who is currently obssess with just eating steam and healthy foods who didnt touch the chili did something and suddenly they were all find. then we went back to the usual talkings in my bedroom and suddenly this cold wind blows pass . it felt very weird. thats when i went to the window to have a look ( by the way my windows have grills and mosquito netting ) , the next minute i knew the mosquitoe netting had diassapeared in a flash of a second.

then i woke up back to reality , feeling body aches , having had a restless night and more bruises on my arms

tag again

Instructions: Remove one question from those below, add in one of your own (personal), to make a total of 20. Tag 10 people in your list at the end of this post. Notify them.

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
25 - 26 i suppose

2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you'd take and why?
Carmen Khong !!! Yuyi !!!! and Pei Xia !!!! ( sorry didnt choose others cause well these are the first three names to pop into my head )

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
susrprisingly Japan for me too :) ( we could go together carmen and yuyi )

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
being with someone....

5.How would you like to save the world one day ? (could be big or small )
well wanna go to a village to spend some time with the community and help them.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
people i love the most around me

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
save some for a rainy day, shop til i drop , donate some to charities

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
depends on how long we have known each other ... but eventually yes

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
a good friend, someone i can depend on , someone who knows me in & out

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
he has to have the same intellectuality as me, willing to talk things out, loyal, kind , someone who can stand my emotional outbreaks.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
greedy, arrogant, people who ignore you on purpose and leave out people , dont like people who take drugs

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
yeah i wish i could especially in High school !!!

13. If you are the (mayor) in a city/town, what would you possibly change ?
make the roads more even and better

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God, my fmaily and friends

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
yup..... i buy something eveytime i go shopping which is pretty often

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
i wish to have more humility

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
God, Yuyi , Carmen Khong !!!! Peony

18. What's your weakest point?
i think i am too sensitive and emotional

19. What's the thing that you're most proud of?
a bit general this question .... hmmm well piano praticals i got merit ?

20. Would you rather have a god-damn ugly (like really cacated lizard looking face) but nice boyfriend or god-damn nasty but handsome like hell boyfriend?
hmmmm well ill go for personality if i had to really choose

I TAG:
Yuyi !!!
Divya
gabriel
Jonathan
Wong Kar Mun
Yeang Shin
Joel
Peony
Wilson
Carmen Tan

mooting

man the experience was so nerve wrecking .... i mean to be put under that kind of pressure definitely not my thing -_^ hmmmph .....

well made two major mistakes which i shouldnt have whereby i feel so stupid at the moment . i feel like slapping myself for that one. but yeah as people say the past is the past and whats over is over. and i shouldnt also be too hard on myself.

at least i can account for the fact that i did won the case i got appeal allowed :) Yay !!!

but at the same time there seemed to be the trend for today for the appeal allowed.

anywayz i guess overall have mixed feelings on this and well ill have to wake up to a new day tomorrow refresh and put aside what happen today ....

xoxo

peace out

Food Bazaar

hey hey people !!!

We had our food bazaar today .... was overall pretty tiring but i guess it was worth the experience ....

met a few interesting people along the way and manage to say a bit more than hi byes to them .... although i think we did come on a bit intimidating and scary . there was a guy whom Bin Hui flirted with ... hehe .... when we called him handsome he came back and bought a hot dog and cookies. i flirted with a black guy and i think he reciprocated ( now dont get the wrong idea i am not going after guys) ... he gave me two ringgit without getting anything .... awwww.... there was a guy which me and pei xia met at a biology class ... he called us intimidating .....lol......

on the other hand there were the rude remarks as well like shalini told me there was this girl who said you cant really make much from selling cookies so why make them in the first place..... people who give the weirdest excuse like they dont have cash .... left wallets elsewhere..... etc .....

PEI XIA !!!!! you were so adorable ..... and so persistent .... it was so cute :) was so happy to be able to work with you.... EU JOE ... haha your intimidating methods to make your "bros" to buy cookies was so mean but funny at the same time

Anita and sunita did the last bits at least they sitll helped out :)

Overall the law department of January intake 2008 was very cooperative ..... Thanks guys for all your efforts it really counts for Sichuan and Myanmmar.