the perfect person ??

have you ever come across someone who has fulfilled all the qualities you wanted in your second half you just wanted to scream and shout for joy in bewilderment and amazement but then before you had a chance to
you find out that he is already taken ...
another scenario would be you have come across a guy before and he fits all your qualities then you found out that his parents dont allow him to have girlfriends. but this among the two would definitely be an easier problem to solve.
thi guy turned out to be that pure gentleman that i ever wanted and he was not that noisy but yet at the same time could strike up a mature conversation with you. you could talk just about anything under the sun. he was so sensitive to my needs. he understands me. his body was definitely what i wanted in a guy and his looks were just about what i have dreamt about . i felt so protected today and he really did pamper me and flattered me a lot . never felt so appreciated and special before. i am supposing that he did have some chemistry with me cause we clicked easy enough. but sadly i would not be able to be encourage by his smiles for me everyday in university now since he has dropped out.
it sucks having to feel that way since he is already occupied with another person. he has already has another significance in his life and wouldnt be able to be yours. and for me personally it has happen twice majorly in my life. and being rejected in this way isnt a very nice feeling. since you know you have "lost" something to someone else.
sigh when is it my turn to have a happy ending for once ??

for you

I am done with wondering
wishing,
wanting ,
waitting ,
just to be with you.

No road or way
for me to tell you
but to just ponder
from the distance....

I long for your attention,
your warmth
your gentleness
&
your affection.

In secret this embrace
you will never ever know
til the day you say
those precious words of
I LOVE YOU

a new Uni year

well guys i have officially started classes in UNIVERSITY
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I AM ALREADY IN UNIVERSITY
Time passes so fast ....
few facts that i cant believe it has happen and its happening :
1. I am now 18 and going to be 19 this year ( I feel so old )
2. I am not in Queensland anymore , without all the independence and all my friends plus memories.
3. I am in Help University Malaysia , it is barely a campus for my degree. ( Thank Goodness I will be twining over to England )
4. I have an official acceptance in to Cardiff University , Wales, it now all depends on my grades whether i can go into that Uni.
5. I am now taking driving and in a month or so will be able to drive.
6. I have so many people in Help University . Built so many old ones back and meeting old people from my past.
7. Joining a new church called Pj EFC and well trying my best to fit in
8. My resistance to spicy food has deteriorate , feel i have become soft in that sense.
9. I have decided to leave relationships in sense of bfgf wise aside for a while.
10. I have to go to University on saturdays and not wednesdays.

Latest Update

i know i havent been blogging much ever since the hols started ... mostly just putting pics up and thats that. i know i have been lazy these past few weeks. and well wanting a break from it all, but its actually barely a break cause now tomorrow i have to go back to SCHOOL ! which in these years means uni to be more exact. I cant believe that i am starting uni already. time really passes so past. i mean the year just rushed through itself. i baarely felt that i consumed the year 2007 fully.
looking back yes i have gained more friends and memories in the past year i was in Queensland , Australia, yet i cannot go back to those happy times. i have to leave and start over. Adjusting to a new place, new environment, new people.... kinda fed up with the feeling of adjusting again but i guess that is life you would always have to do it, and in my case not think too much of whats going to happen the next day. i am still sensitive as a person. Matured a lot in many people's opinion. but i still have a long way to go ...
on the 2nd of jan, i met up with a few friends. like Marie , Charis, the twins ( Serena & Samantha ) . we stayed at home for lunch then decided to make our way over to midvalley. we explored the gardens , found out movie tickets were so expensive there. then we walked around basically aimlessly around the mall. i had my craving for starbucks satisfied when i sat down to drink the ice blended toffee. it was so enriching. met up with an old friend of mine as well. Loong Wai. he well hasnt seen me in three years and in midst of those years can still hover an affection for me. i do wonder how a person can survive.... all he did was just kept in touch with me online whenever i came on msn. messged me on my phone whenever i am back in malaysia. observing all the dates that were significant in my life. that was just pure brilliance ! i am shock beyond words ! or maybe i am just too flattered that a guy can like me for so long
but this will lead to another difficult decision on whether i should give him that chance of going out with me. i feel pity for him for waititng for me so long and still waitting . but at the same time i am entering a whole new wide horizon of guys and of course new friends as well. although i will never leave the old ones behind. especially you guys ( gang ) .... treasure you guys friendship forever, dont matter the distance .
i finished the six hours driving lecture thing ... thank goodness it was so long winded i was afraid i might die halfway( sleep ) . now just waitting for my L s.
reminising of the past as usual of ole me ... guess thats all i have to write today ... til next entry