Lost??

insecurities can be a problem, especially being in a new country and all. you dont even know whether you are appreciated for who you are. i know you guys must be wondering what is she talking about ..... she has a great life and is so privelleged to be in england studying.

in actualy fact i think i feel lost seriously ......

LOST....

on whether the friends are true
on the fact if i will be a significant light to the people around me
on which direction to take in life
on whether i would ever get "one"
on whether i am studying enough
on the church i should attend
on whether my housemates actually want to make an effort to be friends with me.


the past few outcomes with intereaction with guys havent been great and seem to leave a bad impression. i seriously question the fact of my being does it really irritate people ?

i know patience is a virtue but there is this rage inside me that wont go away.

must i change ....
hmmmm....sigh .....

castle and manor trip

Me & Audrey

beautiful autumn

Castle ( lol i forgot the name of it )

fountain .

Castle entrance

Manor trip


i shall just let the pics do the talking

up and down the emotion pole

i guess because i was sick which is the main reason why i was down .

but yet the friendships and socials that i have here have made it a whole lot better . especially some in particular which i really do cherish their friendship and being there for me . there is one in particular.he shall not be named yet but he plays an important role in making my day . even xiu mei was shocked that i became better just by talking to him. she was like you should talk to him more, its good for you .


and i spent the whole saturday with him . we barely did anything but yet we were so comfortable with each other . there were awkward silences between us but there was that safe feeling that i could be with him withtout having to fear anything .

i have no idea why but my family is in a straught with me and there seems to be no way to get them to talk to me .... sigh ....

almost forgot yesterday i experience an indirect discrimination . i had a cold whereby had to to blow my nose to clear it up and the people in front of me kept starring at me and passings notes which i saw read

" shes blowing her nose on purpose just to get attention and disrupt the class ."

i was like ...what the hell ! i cant even be sick and i get discriminated for being sick. i was sopissed that i actually wanted to pierce a knife into that guy's head since he was just sitting below me .

guess thats all

cardiff bay pics

i know i have been on hiatsu for 11 days sorry guys :)

but i am back now cause well i was just waititng for pictures to be given to me in order to upload and write my blog entries .

what has happen since then ... well the usuals where i go to class and church and christian union ( which i truly enjoy ) .

oh by the way i have been ill people for 2 weeks almost .... but i am all better now . possibly why i havent been blogging.

i went to cardiff bay with 3 other girls and it was truely a beacutiful and clear day . WHich we were really thankful since we got to take really good pictures. Hui Ann, Xiu Mei & Audrey.