to stand on my own two feet ?

well readers of my blog ....

i have been back home for more than a week now .

nothing excitting has much happen. i get to see my family ( my dad's side as well), some close friends, only have met up with 3 friends so far . i would say its pretty pathethic. i know its exam period and i am suppose to be studying and doing my assignments but on the other hand well i should also be in some way catching with my friends right?

wrong.... well the first week i just had an awful sleeping time table . i think it still happens ... i slept at 4am and woke up the next day at around 2 ( which if you had to convert would be about10 pm in UK and 8 am ).

the routines everyday its the same....i get up eat lunch, then start work straight away .then well have dinner and continuing working. i guess you could say its a good thing i am concentrating .... but its all just on the surface

the reality in fact - my mind still wonders about my whole situation and how much i truly miss him. i have been pulled like a rubber band on both ends stretch between two views on how i am suppose to handle this.

on one end , people say that i am young and naive to even give him anymore chances since i have been hurt so badly and that i should just completely move on . and that i definitely deserve better than this . there are those who lecture me about still doing things for him. i shouldnt even be friends with him anymore. but i really hate making enemies eventhough someone has hurt me i still will be friends with them. the tagline- there are many more fishes in the sea .....

the other end of the spectrum , there are those went through similar situations that say he does deserve my chance and well i should continue to support him and be there for him cause he needs me most now in this vunerable period. i am touched by the amount he had changed for me in that short period we were officially together. i mean isnt that what love is suppose to be ... its not all the glitz and glam which are shown in the movie but of how honest and "ugly" you can be in front that other half and yet still love each other. i would say me and him have passed that stage ..... and yes we have fit this definition of love. tagline-you truly love the one person for who they are

if there was one thing however that i learnt from this relationship is yes to listen to people's views but really its all up to my own decision in the end and people shouldnt influence it anymore and that i should not waiver. i have to make a stand on my own views and feet.

the Akon song - Right Now ( Na na na ) somehow just sings the desire of my heart now for this particular situation .


i guess thats all i have to write about

til next entry

xx

peace out