excitting day for me

well today the most excitting thing is ....

i received something from Leon.... sigh ....... i feel so touched ....well he sent a a letter, a notebook , his guitar pick, a booklet of verses from the bible , something that you can iron onto a shirtofa piece of cloth.

so happy thats about what i wanted to say .... Jumping for joy !!!! XD

and he called me too later in the night to confirmed whether i got the gifts. and he asked me how was i and hows my preparation going. i just love his awkwardness.

death note movie

well today got up feeling a bit weird and was suppose to meet up with Chen Lam to watch a movie at Mid Valley ... his company turned out to be not so great i guess but the movie was good ...Death Note was seriously good .. i mean the storyline and the outcomes of the wholeplot. it was rathr interesting.

i mean someone who could have come up with the idea of killing people just by writting theirnames on a single book must be a genius . The person created a whole new world .

i got a question to ask would you have judged Light to be innocent or guilty ? i mean he was only killing those who were unworthy of the world to live ... criminals . is this justice or not ?
these were the cast of the movie ... i really like Misa i mean she was so pretty and cute and her characterit pretty dumb but people take a liking into her . i love the L character he was really hillarious i mean he was quite creepy in his chraracter and he was forever eating also. Every scene you see him he will either be eating or sucking his finger. and he says the oddest things at the oddest time.
Movie Cast
Light Yagami: Tatsuya Fujiwara
L: Ken'ichi Matsuyama
Ryuk (voice): Shido Nakamura
Soichiro Yagami: Takeshi Kaga
Misa: Erika Toda
Raye Penber: Shigeki Hosokawa
Naomi Misora: Asaka Seto
Shiori (original character): Yuu Kashii
Rem (voice): Peter (actor)
Sayu Yagami: Hikari Mitsushima
Sachiko Yagami: Michiko Godai
Watari: Shunji Fujimura
Matsuda: Souta Aoyama
Aizawa: Shin Shimizu
Ukita: Tatsuhito Okuda
Mogi: Ikuji Nakamura

guess thats all i have to say ... want to talk to me about it ill tell you more really ... basically i did enjoy the show ...

a new me

19/12
woke up today with the most excitting feeling... that i was going to change my hairdo !!!

twelve o clock came and went ... mum said we were gonna go at 12... i just couldnt wait . then finaly i we went and well the hairdresser said to do rebonding when i told her i wanted to straighten... and another hairdresser there thought i was malay so she kept talking to me in malay which was weird and i kept really quiet about it. then they foinally found out my true identity when they saw i was weraing a cross pendant and well that my mom is chinese. i guess you could say they did a good job ... although i am still getting used to my hairstyle

well i guess i had a great day ... talk to well jia yuan, seh yung and habib online it was really fun . then yuyi came over ... to sleep so cool ... we sat and chat ... until like 1 am then i tried to sleep when she left the music on .my body was really restless yesterday i really didnt sleep well ... looks like this is the feeling i will get when i go to aussie and cant sleep without things i know ...

had some compliments of my new haircut .... from Sy too XD yay.... i guess that is aobut my love life ...

what a day !

after a a whole day of mix up i guess everything now its settle. turn back the time to about 4 in the afternoon you would see mums glaring snake eyes staring back at you.... so there was a mix up communication between me and my mum about bringing friends home ... especially the ones she dont know about ....my mistake .thankfully i did try to make her realize that she does not know much aobut me and i proved her wrong that i can be matured about it too. she now knows the other side of me which is great.

Edna St. Vincent Millay: once wrote
Life is a quest and love a quarrel ...

its great he smsed today ... yay ...i am so happy .... its a bit odd i mean he sms when i least epect him to and his sms is so nice ... and sweet ... and caring... :) love it

satisfaction ....

Love is too young to know what conscience is;

Yet who knows not conscience is born of love?

Then, gentle cheater, urge not my amiss,

Lest guilty of my faults thy sweet self prove:

For, thou betraying me, I do betray

My nobler part to my gross body's treason;

My soul doth tell my body that he may

Triumph in love;

flesh stays no father reason;

But, rising at thy name,

doth point out thee

As his triumphant prize.

Proud of this pride,

He is contented thy poor drudge to be,

To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side.

No want of conscience hold it that I call

Her 'love' for whose dear love I rise and fall.

this sonnet well really touched me . cause in circumstances now it means a lot.

Humans are just humans, we are never fully satisfied with life. When we are working , we want to rest but when we are resting then we want to work. Like what one of my friends said in school we want holidays but in holidays we want school. its not just in this concept. the trends we all try to follow applies the same principle; people change their cars, handphones, clothes, music .....etc.... this desire is only a satisfaction of the temporary mind. we enjoy those things for a while but after that we want more. Greed and the feeling of want sinks into our bods as we have temptation in front of us . the main thing that satisfies our desire burning in our souls is when we see others who are unfortunate and receive it. You will witness a spark of hope in their eyes that pours peace and real satisfaction. Emotions that fill your body after this is the real thing not the worldly things. cherush the human relationships between your love ones , friendsand family they are the ones who give you the real satisfaction not money and technology.

we have to have our hearts on fire for God, and focus on him. Everything you do , do it for HIM!!!!

thinking about you sends chills down my spine
i can never get you out of my mind
living by the hope everyday
that we will meet up someday.

life's fragilities

this is the day which went on without any real interruptions....

but i guess looking at life at its fragile moment its a bit intimidating. my Aunt Judy has now been diangose with liver cancer and is currently admitted in UH but i think discahrged today.... i mean just standing there in the hospital room makes you realize the much importance of life. Hearing my aunt talking about it seems so disturbing to my mind ...one particular thing she said was the hardest thing about having cancer is well leaving your love ones behind and you cant bear to let them see you suffer. i totally agree with that. and the other thing she said the worst thing is that you cant sleep thinking how fast the cancer cells spread in your body and you dont know where it will go next ... that sent shivers down my spine literally... i had goosebumps." what if i am destined to get cancer next time or any other kind of horrific disese?" " i do wonder how i will cope with ?"

we never actually really think about these things unless a close one is affected or you yourself is down with it .... we should be more cautious that these disease and viruses might struck any of us someday.

it also makes one thing about how your spouse or your children have to take it if you go early... what will happen to them ?

a downer for me

hey guys ,

i just dont get my mum .... she acts as if i am like a refugee of the house which i dont really like it at all. when shes angry and all then she will say things like you are shit , you cant even be a good daughter, cant even be like jia lin ,might as well be the maid of the house you dont have to study , wait one more year ...sure.... you have loads of time !!!!

this is all she can say and well when she doesnt have any control anymore she just well slaps me , with anything she has , if she doesnt have anything then she'll probably just use her hand , or pull my hair ....

my feelings right now come from all directions , not just being sad. there is dissapointment, self pity, being put down, missing a ton of people( especially those that mean a lot in my life , the ones from P ), boredom, the feeling of not wanting to do anything... although you have to. i dunno its just a whole lot of emotions that i dont want to feel anymore... i sometimes wish i dont have to feel then i dont have to feel all this pain.

but as Mouth said in One tree hill, "give me all the pain and regrets if i could have the good feelings too "

so i shouldnt feel this way about life i should take it in stride and go through the trials and tribulations. many lessons have to be learnt in life. some directly and others may take longer. i am a person who takes it the hard way more than the direct way.cause well i never been able to see things in the whole picture. Not saying this next part to praise myself but a lot of people said i was matured .... behind the scenes really i dont feel matured at all ... my mum tends to have a way to treat me like a child i can never act matured around her . i dont even know whether is it my fault or hers. i know it isnt suppose to be her fault since she is my mom. but sometimes there has to be a compromise and everything that is done seems to have to be her way . i only wish there could be a talking term between the both of us . to have a better understanding with her and all.

miss you a lot ...hope everything is going according to what you want ... i dunno what is well going on with you now but i pray that everything is alright. i will be just here waitting for you to realise the real me and that the potiential we have. i will be parting soon from this country and will be oceans apart from you ...... in souls wise i hope to always be there for you ...even if we arent going to meet again. Pain is something each of us has to deal with from different aspects of life. some may have to deal with it more than others and have to overcome it more. some findit harder to overcome than others and take more time.... people take time to fully understand themselves sometimes they end up not having enough time to finish thta joruney and eventually leave behind this world .

the weekend

i shall start off by saying this .... both me and my mumcan never come to a same conclusion or even give and take ... cause both of us are too hard headed and stubborn. nothing else to add about that . use your imagination if you want to think what happened to make me write this entry.

i guess on thursday i had a good time catching up with my "older sis" . love her so much . we went to ikano and then to curve. we didnt really do much just ate at uncle lims and talked a lot. we catched up a lot with each other. went to the pet store and played with snakes there. then we were looking out for dead fishys and dead tortoises. lol weird thing but we both liked it. we both described ourselves as oddballs of the pack , which i totally agree :) . went home at about 5 .

friday woke up to go play tennis then later went to gym. wanted to go srot out tickets but dunno mum started yelling so we ended up no going so i wnet to sleep. Charis woke me up by calling me whether she could come over and she did. cause she and her mom wanted to meet up with Marie and her mom. so the whole afternoon we sat talking. which was really fun. night time i went to esther's house for AHF group meeting .

saturday- mum woke me up to go for ticketting thing again . went into a rageand had a huge fight even included dad in ... sigh .... never cried so much before ..... still feel it now. my cousins are down so have to be host to them. good in a way cause i wont be seeing them anytime soon after when i go to aussie.

thats it for this entry ... just felt like pouring it out somewhere

thinking about the times that i had with you , makes me smile and think about them more..... i do hope and wonder whether there will be the day where i will see you again and be able to spend time with you. it calms my mind, soul and spirit just at the thought of you ....

great day with a great friend

well the day start good i guess. first day of school for all the primary and secondary people .

went for a walk with my mum in the morning was ok actually. then had curry laksa after that .
In the afternoon, Marie Ngiam came over . An old friend of mine who i havent been in touch with for like 10 years. We started the time together with me having lunch which was yesterday's spaghetti and it tasted ok . then i showed her my pics on the computer , which i think she found fascinating. then at three we decided to go to the mall since the movie was going to start at 4.30. we went straight for the cinema to get tickets and found that the four thirty moviewas fulled besides two in the front. we didnt want to strain our necks . the counter person told us there was another movie at 4.55 so we went for that one . we had an hour and half to wait so we decided to go for Coffee bean . we sat and talk for that long no stop its like we couldnt get enough of each other. it was ten minutes before the movie and we were like oh no, we are late!!!so we went up and quickly went to toilet and found our seats and sat to watch some advertisements and finally the movie .
Night at the musuem is a really good movie. the story line is nothing much but the humour and action was really great . Ben stiller and Owen wilson were funny. i just wanna watch it again. some parts were really witty and humurous.

thinking of you .... well hope everything is fine ...just got the bad news that you werent that into me as i hoped you were ... sigh .... guess i shouldnt hope for things like these .....will wait and see

had a dream

its the new year 2007 although am writting this on the second day of the new year

i had a dream last night .wonderful for me as i dreamt of guess who .....leon : ) ^_^..... very very happy. the dream was rather weird though as i remembered that we were in some sort of shopping mall and we were running around the aisle and walking....of course holding hands :) then one girl came up to ask mehow did i get leon so easily and we told her it was just fate that both of us felt something for each other. then all of a sudden we were in some sort of outward bound camp and the guys had to do more physical stuff than the girls. and of course the girls finish first. And wehad to watch the guys go through "their torture". it was really gruesome and tiring .i was really cringed up watching Leon struggling in the course. i was practically crying out inside " PITY THEM , LET THEM GO " . Finally he did mananged to finish it and we were back in each other's arms. I tended to his wounds and let him lay on top me as i carried him back to our rooms. He whispered a soft "thank you for always being there for me" and i told him" everything is going to be alright Leon" ..... then i laid him on his bed and sat by his bed to look after him. i gave him some water to drink then allowed him to rest and sleep. I finally saw myself lyingand eventually sleeping on top of his stomach and his arm on top of my shoulders. It was really sweet

i have made up my mind that all the guys that i date from now on has to meet Leon's qualities if he doesnt then i wont go out with the guy ... i dont know how and i dont know why but my feelings for Leon seems different from all the other guys i have felt. i am really thankful that he showed me who he really was and did hide it in anyway. we certainly can talk about stuff and trying to open up to each other was pretty easy and he does it in the right timing too. i could see myself with him cause well he satisfies the list of qualities and outer looks that i look for in a guy . He is cuddley too with his big size. I do wonder what is going on with him now and whether he is back already from thailand. he hasnt called or smsed me .... i feel kinda worried that he doesnt like me naymore ... but we shall see then ...

getting nervous about going to australia. i have officially started packing for my voyage for my studies there ...pretty scared about it too